little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第52部分
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'Done?' said Mr Flintwinch。 'Dropped down upon me。'
'If you mean; remonstrated with you……'
'Don't put words into my mouth that I don't mean;' said Jeremiah;
sticking to his figurative expression with tenacious and imperable
obstinacy: 'I mean dropped down upon me。'
'I remonstrated with you;' she began again; 'because……'
'I won't have it!' cried Jeremiah。 'You dropped down upon me。'
'I dropped down upon you; then; you ill…conditioned man;' (Jeremiah
chuckled at having forced her to adopt his phrase;) 'for having been
needlessly significant to Arthur that morning。 I have a right to
plain of it as almost a breach of confidence。 You did not mean it……'
'I won't have it!' interposed the contradictory Jeremiah; flinging back
the concession。 'I did mean it。'
'I suppose I must leave you to speak in soliloquy if you choose;' she
replied; after a pause that seemed an angry one。 'It is useless my
addressing myself to a rash and headstrong old man who has a set purpose
not to hear me。'
'Now; I won't take that from you either;' said Jeremiah。 'I have no such
purpose。 I have told you I did mean it。 Do you wish to know why I meant
it; you rash and headstrong old woman?'
'After all; you only restore me my own words;' she said; struggling with
her indignation。 'Yes。'
'This is why; then。 Because you hadn't cleared his father to him; and
you ought to have done it。 Because; before you went into any tantrum
about yourself; who are……'
'Hold there; Flintwinch!' she cried out in a changed voice: 'you may go
a word too far。'
The old man seemed to think so。 There was another pause; and he had
altered his position in the room; when he spoke again more mildly:
'I was going to tell you why it was。 Because; before you took your own
part; I thought you ought to have taken the part of Arthur's father。
Arthur's father! I had no particular love for Arthur's father。 I served
Arthur's father's uncle; in this house; when Arthur's father was not
much above me……was poorer as far as his pocket went……and when his uncle
might as soon have left me his heir as have left him。 He starved in the
parlour; and I starved in the kitchen; that was the principal difference
in our positions; there was not much more than a flight of breakneck
stairs between us。 I never took to him in those times; I don't know that
I ever took to him greatly at any time。 He was an undecided; irresolute
chap; who had everything but his orphan life scared out of him when he
was young。 And when he brought you home here; the wife his uncle
had named for him; I didn't need to look at you twice (you were a
good…looking woman at that time) to know who'd be master。 You have stood
of your own strength ever since。 Stand of your own strength now。 Don't
lean against the dead。'
'I do not……as you call it……lean against the dead。'
'But you had a mind to do it; if I had submitted;' growled Jeremiah;
'and that's why you drop down upon me。 You can't forget that I didn't
submit。 I suppose you are astonished that I should consider it worth my
while to have justice done to Arthur's father?
Hey? It doesn't matter whether you answer or not; because I know you
are; and you know you are。 e; then; I'll tell you how it is。 I may
be a bit of an oddity in point of temper; but this is my temper……I can't
let anybody have entirely their own way。 You are a determined woman; and
a clever woman; and when you see your purpose before you; nothing will
turn you from it。 Who knows that better than I do?'
'Nothing will turn me from it; Flintwinch; when I have justified it to
myself。 Add that。'
'Justified it to yourself? I said you were the most determined woman on
the face of the earth (or I meant to say so); and if you are determined
to justify any object you entertain; of course you'll do it。'
'Man! I justify myself by the authority of these Books;' she cried; with
stern emphasis; and appearing from the sound that followed to strike the
dead…weight of her arm upon the table。
'Never mind that;' returned Jeremiah calmly; 'we won't enter into that
question at present。 However that may be; you carry out your purposes;
and you make everything go down before them。 Now; I won't go down before
them。 I have been faithful to you; and useful to you; and I am attached
to you。 But I can't consent; and I won't consent; and I never did
consent; and I never will consent to be lost in you。 Swallow up
everybody else; and wele。 The peculiarity of my temper is; ma'am;
that I won't be swallowed up alive。'
Perhaps this had Originally been the mainspring of the understanding
between them。 Descrying thus much of force of character in Mr
Flintwinch; perhaps Mrs Clennam had deemed alliance with him worth her
while。
'Enough and more than enough of the subject;' said she gloomily。
'Unless you drop down upon me again;' returned the persistent
Flintwinch; 'and then you must expect to hear of it again。'
Mistress Affery dreamed that the figure of her lord here began walking
up and down the room; as if to cool his spleen; and that she ran away;
but that; as he did not issue forth when she had stood listening and
trembling in the shadowy hall a little time; she crept up…stairs again;
impelled as before by ghosts and curiosity; and once more cowered
outside the door。
'Please to light the candle; Flintwinch;' Mrs Clennam was saying;
apparently wishing to draw him back into their usual tone。 'It is nearly
time for tea。 Little Dorrit is ing; and will find me in the dark。'
Mr Flintwinch lighted the candle briskly; and said as he put it down
upon the table:
'What are you going to do with Little Dorrit? Is she to e to work
here for ever? To e to tea here for ever? To e backwards and
forwards here; in the same way; for ever?' 'How can you talk about 〃for
ever〃 to a maimed creature like me? Are we not all cut down like the
grass of the field; and was not I shorn by the scythe many years ago:
since when I have been lying here; waiting to be gathered into the
barn?'
'Ay; ay! But since you have been lying here……not near dead……nothing like
it……numbers of children and young people; blooming women; strong men;
and what not; have been cut down and carried; and still here are you;
you see; not much changed after all。 Your time and mine may be a long
one yet。 When I say for ever; I mean (though I am not poetical) through
all our time。' Mr Flintwinch gave this explanation with great calmness;
and calmly waited for an answer。
'So long as Little Dorrit is quiet and industrious; and stands in need
of the slight help I can give her; and deserves it; so long; I suppose;
unless she withdraws of her own act; she will continue to e here; I
being spared。'
'Nothing more than that?' said Flintwinch; stroking his mouth and chin。
'What should there be more than that! What could there be more than
that!' she ejaculated in her sternly wondering way。
Mrs Flintwinch dreamed; that; for the space of a minute or two; they
remained looking at each other with the candle between them; and
that she somehow derived an impression that they looked at each other
fixedly。
'Do you happen to know; Mrs Clennam;' Affery's liege lord then demanded
in a much lower voice; and with an amount of expression that seemed
quite out of proportion to the simple purpose of his words; 'where she
lives?'
'No。'
'Would you……now; would you like to know?' said Jeremiah with a pounce as
if he had sprung upon her。
'If I cared to know; I should know already。 Could I not have asked her
any day?'
'Then you don't care to know?'
'I do not。'
Mr Flintwinch; having expelled a long significant breath said; with his
former emphasis; 'For I have accidentally……mind!……found out。'
'Wherever she lives;' said Mrs Clennam; speaking in one unmodulated hard
voice; and separating her words as distinctly as if she were reading
them off from separate bits of metal that she took up one by one; 'she
has made a secret of it; and she shall always keep her secret from me。'
'After all; perhaps you would rather not have known the fact; any how?'
said Jeremiah; and he said it with a twist; as if his words had e out
of him in his own wry shape。
'Flintwinch;' said