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暮色-第80部分

小说: 暮色 字数: 每页4000字

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her of friends; so I tried another direction — 〃and Charlie needs me。 
He's just all alone up there; and he can't cook at all。〃 

〃You want to stay in Forks?〃 she asked; bewildered。 The idea was 
inconceivable to her。 And then her eyes flickered back toward Edward。 
〃Why?〃 

〃I told you — school; Charlie — ouch!〃 I'd shrugged。 Not a good idea。 

Her hands fluttered helplessly over me; trying to find a safe place to 
pat。 She made do with my forehead; it was unbandaged。 

〃Bella; honey; you hate Forks;〃 she reminded me。 

〃It's not so bad。〃 

She frowned and looked back and forth between Edward and me; this time 
very deliberately。 

〃Is it this boy?〃 she whispered。 

I opened my mouth to lie; but her eyes were scrutinizing my face; and I 
knew she would see through that。 

〃He's part of it;〃 I admitted。 No need to confess how big a part。 〃So; 
have you had a chance to talk with Edward?〃 I asked。 

〃Yes。〃 She hesitated; looking at his perfectly still form。 〃And I want to 
talk to you about that。〃 

Uhoh。 〃What about?〃 I asked。 

〃I think that boy is in love with you;〃 she accused; keeping her voice 
low。 

〃I think so; too;〃 I confided。 

〃And how do you feel about him?〃 She only poorly concealed the raging 
curiosity in her voice。 

I sighed; looking away。 As much as I loved my mom; this was not a 
conversation I wanted to have with her。 〃I'm pretty crazy about him。〃 
There — that sounded like something a teenager with her first boyfriend 
might say。 

〃Well; he seems very nice; and; my goodness; he's incredibly 
goodlooking; but you're so young; Bella…〃 Her voice was unsure; as far 
as I could remember; this was the first time since I was eight that she'd 
e close to trying to sound like a parental authority。 I recognized the 
reasonablebutfirm tone of voice from talks I'd had with her about men。 

〃I know that; Mom。 Don't worry about it。 It's just a crush;〃 I soothed 
her。 

〃That's right;〃 she agreed; easily pleased。 

Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big; round 
clock on the wall。 

〃Do you need to go?〃 

She bit her lip。 〃Phil's supposed to call in a little while… I didn't 
know you were going to wake up…〃 

〃No problem; Mom。〃 I tried to tone down the relief so she wouldn't get 
her feelings hurt。 〃I won't be alone。〃 

〃I'll be back soon。 I've been sleeping here; you know;〃 she announced; 
proud of herself。 

〃Oh; Mom; you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home — I'll never 
notice。〃 The swirl of painkillers in my brain was making it hard to 
concentrate even now; though; apparently; I'd been sleeping for days。 

〃I was too nervous;〃 she admitted sheepishly。 〃There's been some crime in 
the neighborhood; and I don't like being there alone。〃 

〃Crime?〃 I asked in alarm。 

〃Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house 
and burned it to the ground — there's nothing left at all! And they left 
a stolen car right out front。 Do you remember when you used to dance 
there; honey?〃 

〃I remember。〃 I shivered; and winced。 

〃I can stay; baby; if you need me。〃 

〃No; Mom; I'll be fine。 Edward will be with me。〃 

She looked like that might be why she wanted to stay。 〃I'll be back 
tonight。〃 It sounded as much like a warning as it sounded like a promise; 
and she glanced at Edward again as she said it。 

〃I love you; Mom。〃 

〃I love you; too; Bella。 Try to be more careful when you walk; honey; I 
don't want to lose you。〃 

Edward's eyes stayed closed; but a wide grin flashed across his face。 

A nurse came bustling in then to check all my tubes and wires。 My mother 
kissed my forehead; patted my gauzewrapped hand; and left。 

The nurse was checking the paper readout on my heart monitor。 

〃Are you feeling anxious; honey? Your heart rate got a little high there。〃 

〃I'm fine;〃 I assured her。 

〃I'll tell your RN that you're awake。 She'll be in to see you in a 
minute。〃 

As soon as she closed the door; Edward was at my side。 

〃You stole a car?〃 I raised my eyebrows。 

He smiled; unrepentant。 〃It was a good car; very fast。〃 

〃How was your nap?〃 I asked。 

〃Interesting。〃 His eyes narrowed。 

〃What?〃 

He looked down while he answered。 〃I'm surprised。 I thought Florida… and 
your mother… well; I thought that's what you would want。〃 

I stared at him unprehendingly。 〃But you'd be stuck inside all day in 
Florida。 You'd only be able to e out at night; just like a real 
vampire。〃 

He almost smiled; but not quite。 And then his face was grave。 〃I would 
stay in Forks; Bella。 Or somewhere like it;〃 he explained。 〃Someplace 
where I couldn't hurt you anymore。〃 

It didn't sink in at first。 I continued to stare at him blankly as the 
words one by one clicked into place in my head like a ghastly puzzle。 I 
was barely conscious of the sound of my heart accelerating; though; as my 
breathing became hyperventilation; I was aware of the sharp aching in my 
protesting ribs。 

He didn't say anything; he watched my face warily as the pain that had 
nothing to do with broken bones; pain that was infinitely worse; 
threatened to crush me。 

And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room。 Edward sat 
still as stone as she took in my expression with a practiced eye before 
turning to the monitors。 

〃Time for more pain meds; sweetheart?〃 she asked kindly; tapping the IV 
feed。 

〃No; no;〃 I mumbled; trying to keep the agony out of my voice。 〃I don't 
need anything。〃 I couldn't afford to close my eyes now。 

〃No need to be brave; honey。 It's better if you don't get too stressed 
out; you need to rest。〃 She waited; but I just shook my head。 

〃Okay;〃 she sighed。 〃Hit the call button when you're ready。〃 

She gave Edward a stern look; and threw one more anxious glance at the 
machinery; before leaving。 

His cool hands were on my face; I stared at him with wild eyes。 

〃Shhh; Bella; calm down。〃 

〃Don't leave me;〃 I begged in a broken voice。 

〃I won't;〃 he promised。 〃Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate 
you。〃 

But my heart couldn't slow。 

〃Bella。〃 He stroked my face anxiously。 〃I'm not going anywhere。 I'll be 
right here as long as you need me。〃 

〃Do you swear you won't leave me?〃 I whispered。 I tried to control the 
gasping; at least。 My ribs were throbbing。 

He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to 
mine。 His eyes were wide and serious。 〃I swear。〃 

The smell of his breath was soothing。 It seemed to ease the ache of my 
breathing。 He continued to hold my gaze while my body slowly relaxed and 
the beeping returned to a normal pace。 His eyes were dark; closer to 
black than gold today。 

〃Better?〃 he asked。 

〃Yes;〃 I said cautiously。 

He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible。 I thought I 
picked out the word 〃overreaction。〃 

〃Why did you say that?〃 I whispered; trying to keep my voice from 
shaking。 〃Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me 
to go away?〃 

〃No; I don't want to be without you; Bella; of course not。 Be rational。 
And I have no problem with saving you; either — if it weren't for the 
fact that I was the one putting you in danger… that I'm the reason that 

you're here。〃 

〃Yes; you are the reason。〃 I frowned。 〃The reason I'm here — alive。〃 

〃Barely。〃 His voice was just a whisper。 〃Covered in gauze and plaster and 
hardly able to move。〃 

〃I wasn't referring to my most recent neardeath experience;〃 I said; 
growing irritated。 〃I was thinking of the others — you can take your 
pick。 If it weren't for you; I would be rotting away in the Forks 
cemetery。〃 

He winced at my words; but the haunted look didn't leave his eyes。 

〃That's not the worst part; though;〃 he continued to whisper。 He acted as 
if I hadn't spoken。 〃Not seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and 
broken。〃 His voice was choked。 〃Not thinking I was too late。 Not even 
hearing you scream in pain — all those unbearable memories that I'll 
carry with me for the rest of eternity。 No; the very worst was feeling… 
knowing that I couldn't stop。 Believing that I was going to kill you 
myself。〃 

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