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暮色-第26部分

小说: 暮色 字数: 每页4000字

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〃Well; we could go to dinner or something… and I could work on it later。〃 
He smiled at me hopefully。 

〃Mike…〃 I hated being put on the spot。 〃I don't think that would be the 
best idea。〃 

His face fell。 〃Why?〃 he asked; his eyes guarded。 My thoughts flickered 
to Edward; wondering if that's where his thoughts were as well。 

〃I think… and if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I will 
cheerfully beat you to death;〃 I threatened; 〃but I think that would hurt 
Jessica's feelings。〃 

He was bewildered; obviously not thinking in that direction at all。 
〃Jessica?〃 

〃Really; Mike; are you blind?〃 

〃Oh;〃 he exhaled — clearly dazed。 I took advantage of that to make my 
escape。 

〃It's time for class; and I can't be late again。〃 I gathered my books up 
and stuffed them in my bag。 

We walked in silence to building three; and his expression was 

distracted。 I hoped whatever thoughts he was immersed in were leading him 
in the right direction。 

When I saw Jessica in Trig; she was bubbling with enthusiasm。 She; 
Angela; and Lauren were going to Port Angeles tonight to go dress 
shopping for the dance; and she wanted me to e; too; even though I 
didn't need one。 I was indecisive。 It would be nice to get out of town 
with some girlfriends; but Lauren would be there。 And who knew what I 
could be doing tonight… But that was definitely the wrong path to let my 
mind wander down。 Of course I was happy about the sunlight。 But that 
wasn't pletely responsible for the euphoric mood I was in; not even 
close。 

So I gave her a maybe; telling her I'd have to talk with Charlie first。 

She talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish; continuing as 
if without an interruption when class finally ended; five minutes late; 
and we were on our way to lunch。 I was far too lost in my own frenzy of 
anticipation to notice much of what she said。 I was painfully eager to 
see not just him but all the Cullens — to pare them with the new 
suspicions that plagued my mind。 As I crossed the threshold of the 
cafeteria; I felt the first true tingle of fear slither down my spine and 
settle in my stomach。 Would they be able to know what I was thinking? And 
then a different feeling jolted through me — would Edward be waiting to 
sit with me again? 

As was my routine; I glanced first toward the Cullens' table。 A shiver of 
panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty。 With dwindling 
hope; my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria; hoping to find him 
alone; waiting for me。 The place was nearly filled — Spanish had made us 
late — but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family。 Desolation 
hit me with crippling strength。 

I shambled along behind Jessica; not bothering to pretend to listen 
anymore。 

We were late enough that everyone was already at our table。 I avoided the 
empty chair next to Mike in favor of one by Angela。 I vaguely noticed 
that Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica; and that her face lit 
up in response。 

Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper; which I 
answered as naturally as I could while spiraling downward in misery。 She; 
too; invited me to go with them tonight; and I agreed now; grasping at 
anything to distract myself。 

I realized I'd been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered 
Biology; saw his empty seat; and felt a new wave of disappointment。 

The rest of the day passed slowly; dismally。 In Gym; we had a lecture on 
the rules of badminton; the next torture they had lined up for me。 But at 
least it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the 
court。 The best part was the coach didn't finish; so I got another day 
off tomorrow。 Never mind that the day after they would arm me with a 
racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class。 

I was glad to leave campus; so I would be free to pout and mope before I 
went out tonight with Jessica and pany。 But right after I walked in 
the door of Charlie's house; Jessica called to cancel our plans。 I tried 
to be happy that Mike had asked her out to dinner — I really was relieved 
that he finally seemed to be catching on — but my enthusiasm sounded 
false in my own ears。 She rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrow 
night。 

Which left me with little in the way of distractions。 I had fish 
marinating for dinner; with a salad and bread left over from the night 
before; so there was nothing to do there。 I spent a focused half hour on 
homework; but then I was through with that; too。 I checked my email; 
reading the backlog of letters from my mother; getting snippier as they 
progressed to the present。 I sighed and typed a quick response。 

Mom; 

Sorry。 I've been out。 I went to the beach with some friends。 And I had to 
write a paper。 



My excuses were fairly pathetic; so I gave up on that。 



It's sunny outside today  I know; I'm shocked; too  so I'm going to go 
outside and soak up as much vitamin D as I can。 I love you; 

Bella。 



I decided to kill an hour with nonschoolrelated reading。 I had a small 
collection of books that came with me to Forks; the shabbiest volume 
being a pilation of the works of Jane Austen。 I selected that one and 
headed to the backyard; grabbing a ragged old quilt from the linen 
cupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down。 

Outside in Charlie's small; square yard; I folded the quilt in half and 
laid it out of the reach of the trees' shadows on the thick lawn that 
would always be slightly wet; no matter how long the sun shone。 I lay on 
my stomach; crossing my ankles in the air; flipping through the different 
novels in the book; trying to decide which would occupy my mind the most 
thoroughly。 My favorites were Pride and Prejudice and Sense and 
Sensibility。 I'd read the first most recently; so I started into Sense 
and Sensibility; only to remember after I began three that the hero of 
the story happened to be named Edward。 Angrily; I turned to Mansfield 
Park; but the hero of that piece was named Edmund; and that was just too 
close。 Weren't there any other names available in the late eighteenth 
century? I snapped the book shut; annoyed; and rolled over onto my back。 
I pushed my sleeves up as high as they would go; and closed my eyes。 I 
would think of nothing but the warmth on my skin; I told myself severely。 
The breeze was still light; but it blew tendrils of my hair around my 
face; and that tickled a bit。 I pulled all my hair over my head; letting 
it fan out on the quilt above me; and focused again on the heat that 
touched my eyelids; my cheekbones; my nose; my lips; my forearms; my 
neck; soaked through my light shirt… 

The next thing I was conscious of was the sound of Charlie's cruiser 
turning onto the bricks of the driveway。 I sat up in surprise; realizing 
the light was gone; behind the trees; and I had fallen asleep。 I looked 
around; muddled; with the sudden feeling that I wasn't alone。 

〃Charlie?〃 I asked。 But I could hear his door slamming in front of the 
house。 

I jumped up; foolishly edgy; gathering the nowdamp quilt and my book。 I 
ran inside to get some oil heating on the stove; realizing that dinner 
would be late。 Charlie was hanging up his gun belt and stepping out of 
his boots when I came in。 

〃Sorry; Dad; dinner's not ready yet — I fell asleep outside。〃 I stifled a 
yawn。 

〃Don't worry about it;〃 he said。 〃I wanted to catch the score on the 
game; anyway。〃 

I watched TV with Charlie after dinner; for something to do。 There wasn't 
anything on I wanted to watch; but he knew I didn't like baseball; so he 
turned it to some mindless sit that neither of us enjoyed。 He seemed 
happy; though; to be doing something together。 And it felt good; despite 
my depression; to make him happy。 

〃Dad;〃 I said during a mercial; 〃Jessica and Angela are going to look 
at dresses for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles; and they wanted 

me to help them choose… do you mind if I go with them?〃 

〃Jessica Stanley?〃 he asked。 

〃And Angela Weber。〃 I sighed as I gave him the details。 

He was confused。 〃But you're not going to the dance; right?〃 

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