3 eclipse月食-第73部分

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smiled。　
　It　was　the　same　wolfy　grin　as　before；　his　eyes　scrunching　the　way　they　did　when　he　was　human。　
　It　was　hard　to　believe　that；　not　so　long　ago；　I’d　found　the　werewolves　frightening　—　lost　sleep　to　
nightmares　about　them。　
　I　knew；　without　asking；　which　of　the　others　was　Embry　and　which　was　Quil。　Because　Embry　was　clearly　
the　thinner　gray　wolf　with　the　dark　spots　on　his　back；　who　sat　so　patiently　watching；　while　Quil　—　deep　
chocolate　brown；　lighter　over　his　face　—　twitched　constantly；　looking　like　he　was　dying　to　join　in　the　mock　
fight。　They　weren’t　monsters；　even　like　this。　They　were　friends。　
　Friends　who　didn’t　look　nearly　as　indestructible　as　Emmett　and　Jasper　did；　moving　faster　than　cobra　
strikes　while　the　moonlight　glinted　off　their　granitehard　skin。　Friends　who　didn’t　seem　to　understand　the　
danger　involved　here。　Friends　who　were　still　somewhat　mortal；　friends　who　could　bleed；　friends　who　could　
die。　。　。　。　
　Edward’s　confidence　was　reassuring；　because　it　was　plain　that　he　wasn’t　truly　worried　about　his　family。　
But　would　it　hurt　him　if　something　happened　to　the　wolves？　Was　there　any　reason　for　him　to　be　anxious；　if　that　
possibility　didn’t　bother　him？　Edward’s　confidence　only　applied　to　one　set　of　my　fears。　
　I　tried　to　smile　back　at　Jacob；　swallowing　against　the　lump　in　my　throat。　I　didn’t　seem　to　get　it　right。　
　Jacob　sprang　lightly　to　his　feet；　his　agility　at　odds　with　his　sheer　mass；　and　trotted　over　to　where　Edward　
and　I　stood　on　the　fringe　of　things。　
　“Jacob；”　Edward　greeted　him　politely。　
　Jacob　ignored　him；　his　dark　eyes　on　me。　He　put　his　head　down　to　my　level；　as　he　had　yesterday；　cocking　
it　to　one　side。　A　low　whimper　escaped　his　muzzle。　
　“I’m　fine；”　I　answered；　not　needing　the　translation　that　Edward　was　about　to　give。　“Just　worried；　you　
know。”　
　Jacob　continued　to　stare　at　me。　
　“He　wants　to　know　why；”　Edward　murmured。　
　Jacob　growled　—　not　a　threatening　sound；　an　annoyed　sound　—　and　Edward’s　lips　twitched。　
　“What？”　I　asked。　
　“He　thinks　my　translations　leave　something　to　be　desired。　What　he　actually　thought　was；　‘That’s　really　
stupid。　What　is　there　to　be　worried　about？’　I　edited；　because　I　thought　it　was　rude。”　
　I　halfway　smiled；　too　anxious　to　really　feel　amused。　“There’s　plenty　to　be　worried　about；”　I　told　Jacob。　
“Like　a　bunch　of　really　stupid　wolves　getting　themselves　hurt。”　
　Jacob　laughed　his　coughing　bark。　
　Edward　sighed。　“Jasper　wants　help。　You’ll　be　okay　without　a　translator？”　
　“I’ll　manage。”　
　Edward　looked　at　me　wistfully　for　one　minute；　his　expression　hard　to　understand；　then　turned　his　back　and　
strode　over　to　where　Jasper　waited。　
　I　sat　down　where　I　was。　The　ground　was　cold　and　unfortable。　
　Jacob　took　a　step　forward；　then　looked　back　at　me；　and　a　low　whine　rose　in　his　throat。　He　took　another　
halfstep。　
　“Go　on　without　me；”　I　told　him。　“I　don’t　want　to　watch。”　
　Jacob　leaned　his　head　to　the　side　again　for　a　moment；　and　then　folded　himself　on　to　the　ground　beside　me　
with　a　rumbling　sigh。　
　“Really；　you　can　go　ahead；”　I　assured　him。　He　didn’t　respond；　he　just　put　his　head　down　on　his　paws。　

I　stared　up　at　the　bright　silver　clouds；　not　wanting　to　see　the　fight。　My　imagination　had　more　than　enough　
fuel。　A　breeze　blew　through　the　clearing；　and　I　shivered。　
Jacob　scooted　himself　closer　to　me；　pressing　his　warm　fur　against　my　left　side。　
“Er；　thanks；”　I　muttered。　
After　a　few　minutes；　I　leaned　against　his　wide　shoulder。　It　was　much　more　fortable　that　way。　
The　clouds　moved　slowly　across　the　sky；　dimming　and　brightening　as　thick　patches　crossed　the　moon　and　
passed　on。　
Absently；　I　began　pulling　my　fingers　through　the　fur　on　his　neck。　That　same　strange　humming　sound　that　
he’d　made　yesterday　rumbled　in　his　throat。　It　was　a　homey　kind　of　sound。　Rougher；　wilder　than　a　cat’s　purr；　
but　conveying　the　same　sense　of　contentment。　
“You　know；　I　never　had　a　dog；”　I　mused。　“I　always　wanted　one；　but　Renée’s　allergic。”　
Jacob　laughed；　his　body　shook　under　me。　
“Aren’t　you　worried　about　Saturday　at　all？”　I　asked。　
He　turned　his　enormous　head　toward　me；　so　that　I　could　see　one　of　his　eyes　roll。　
“I　wish　I　could　feel　that　positive。”　
He　leaned　his　head　against　my　leg　and　started　humming　again。　And　it　did　make　me　feel　just　a　little　bit　
better。　
“So　we’ve　got　some　hiking　to　do　tomorrow；　I　guess。”　
He　rumbled；　the　sound　was　enthusiastic。　
“It　might　be　a　long　hike；”　I　warned　him。　“Edward　doesn’t　judge　distances　the　way　a　normal　person　does。”　
Jacob　barked　another　laugh。　
I　settled　deeper　into　his　warm　fur；　resting　my　head　against　his　neck。　
It　was　strange。　Even　though　he　was　in　this　bizarre　form；　this　felt　more　like　the　way　Jake　and　I　used　to　be　
—　the　easy；　effortless　friendship　that　was　as　natural　as　breathing　in　and　out　—　than　the　last　few　times　I’d　been　
with　Jacob　while　he　was　human。　Odd　that　I　should　find　that　again　here；　when　I’d　thought　this　wolf　thing　was　
the　cause　of　its　loss。　
The　killing　games　continued　in　the　clearing；　and　I　stared　at　the　hazy　moon。　

　　20。　PROMISE　


EVERYTHING　WAS　READY。　
I　was　packed　for　my　twoday　visit　with　“Alice；”　and　my　bag　waited　for　me　on　the　passenger　seat　of　my　
truck。　I’d　given　the　concert　tickets　to　Angela；　Ben；　and　Mike。　Mike　was　going　to　take　Jessica；　which　was　
exactly　as　I’d　hoped。　Billy　had　borrowed　Old　Quil　Ateara’s　boat　and　invited　Charlie　down　for　some　open　sea　
fishing　before　the　afternoon　game　started。　Collin　and　Brady；　the　two　youngest　werewolves；　were　staying　
behind　to　protect　La　Push　—　though　they　were　just　children；　both　of　them　only　thirteen。　Still；　Charlie　would　be　
safer　than　anyone　left　in　Forks。　
I　had　done　all　that　I　could　do。　I　tried　to　accept　that；　and　put　the　things　that　were　outside　of　my　control　out　
of　my　head；　for　tonight　at　least。　One　way　or　another；　this　would　all　be　over　in　fortyeight　hours。　The　thought　
was　almost　forting。　
Edward　had　requested　that　I　relax；　and　I　was　going　to　do　my　best。　
“For　this　one　night；　could　we　try　to　forget　everything　besides　just　you　and　me？”　he’d　pleaded；　unleashing　
the　full　force　of　his　eyes　on　me。　“It　seems　like　I　can　never　get　enough　time　like　that。　I　need　to　be　with　you。　Just　
you。”　
That　was　not　a　hard　request　to　agree　to；　though　I　knew　that　forgetting　my　fears　would　be　much　easier　said　
than　done。　Other　matters　were　on　my　mind　now；　knowing　that　we　had　this　night　to　be　alone；　and　that　would　
help。　
There　were　some　things　that　had　changed。　
For　instance；　I　was　ready。　
I　was　ready　to　join　his　family　and　his　world。　The　fear　and　guilt　and　anguish　I　was　feeling　now　had　taught　
me　that　much。　I’d　had　a　chance　to　concentrate　on　this　—　as　I’d　gazed　at　the　moon　through　the　clouds　and　
rested　against　a　werewolf　—　and　I　knew　I　would　not　panic　again。　The　next　time　something　came　at　us；　I　
would　be　ready。　An　asset；　not　a　liability。　He　would　never　have　to　make　the　choice　between　me　and　his　family　
again。　We　would　be　partners；　like　Alice　and　Jasper。　Next　time；　I　would　do　my　part。　
I　would　wait　for　the　sword　to　be　removed　from　over　my　head；　so　that　Edward　would　be　satisfied。　But　it　
wasn’t　necessary。　I　was　ready。　
There　was　only　one　missing　piece。　
One　piece；　because　there　were　some　things　that　had　not　changed；　and　that　included　the　desperate　way　I　
loved　him。　I’d　had　plenty　of　time　to　think　through　the　ramifications　of　Jasper　and　Emmett’s　bet　—　to　figure　out　
the　things　I　was　willing　to　lose　with　my　humanity；　and　the　part　that　I　was　not　willing　to　give　up。　I　knew　which　
human　experience　I　was　going　to　insist　on　before　I　became　inhuman。　
So　we　had　some　things　to　work　out　tonight。　After　everything　I’d　seen　in　the　past　two　years；　I　didn’t　
believe　in　the　word　impossible　anymore。　It　was　going　to　take　more　than　that　to　stop　me　now。　
Okay；　well；　honestly；　it　was　probably　going　to　be　much　more　plicated　than　that。　But　I　was　going　to　
try。　
As　decided　as　I　was；　I　wasn’t　surprised　that　I　still　felt　nervous　as　I　drove　down　the　long　path　to　his　house　
—　I　didn’t　know　how　to　do　what　I　was　trying　to　do；　and　that　guaranteed　me　some　serious　jitters。　He　sat　in　the　
passenger　seat；　fighting　a　smile　at　my　slow　pace。　I