3 eclipse月食-第5部分
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could put off visits with excuses about travel expenses or study loads or illnesses； Jacob would know the truth。
For a moment； the idea of Jacob’s certain revulsion overshadowed every other pain。
“Bella；” Edward murmured； his face twisting when he read the distress in mine。 “There’s no hurry。 I won’t
let anyone hurt you。 You can take all the time you need。”
“I want to hurry；” I whispered； smiling weakly； trying to make a joke of it。 “I want to be a monster； too。”
His teeth clenched； he spoke through them。 “You have no idea what you’re saying。” Abruptly； he flung the
damp newspaper onto the table in between us。 His finger stabbed the headline on the front page：
DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE； POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY
“What does that have to do with anything？”
“Monsters are not a joke； Bella。”
I stared at the headline again； and then up to his hard expression。 “A 。 。 。 a vampire is doing this？” I
whispered。
He smiled without humor。 His voice was low and cold。 “You’d be surprised； Bella； at how often my kind
are the source behind the horrors in your human news。 It’s easy to recognize； when you know what to look
for。 The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle。 Bloodthirsty； wild； out of control。
The way we all were。”
I let my gaze drop to the paper again； avoiding his eyes。
“We’ve been monitoring the situation for a few weeks。 All the signs are there — the unlikely
disappearances； always in the night； the poorly disposedof corpses； the lack of other evidence。 。 。 。 Yes；
someone brandnew。 And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte。 。 。 。” He took a deep
breath。 “Well； it’s not our problem。 We wouldn’t even pay attention to the situation if wasn’t going on so close
to home。 Like I said； this happens all the time。 The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences。”
I tried not to see the names on the page； but they jumped out from the rest of the print like they were in
bold。 The five people whose lives were over； whose families were mourning now。 It was different from
considering murder in the abstract； reading those names。 Maureen Gardiner； Geoffrey Campbell； Grace Razi；
Michelle O’Connell； Ronald Albrook。 People who’d had parents and children and friends and pets and jobs
and hopes and plans and memories and futures。 。 。 。
“It won’t be the same for me；” I whispered； half to myself。 “You won’t let me be like that。 We’ll live in
Antarctica。”
Edward snorted； breaking the tension。 “Penguins。 Lovely。”
I laughed a shaky laugh and knocked the paper off the table so I wouldn’t have to see those names； it hit
the linoleum with a thud。 Of course Edward would consider the hunting possibilities。 He and his “vegetarian”
family — all mitted to protecting human life — preferred the flavor of large predators for satisfying their
dietary needs。 “Alaska； then； as planned。 Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau — somewhere
with grizzlies galore。”
“Better；” he allowed。 “There are polar bears； too。 Very fierce。 And the wolves get quite large。”
My mouth fell open and my breath blew out in a sharp gust。
“What’s wrong？” he asked。 Before I could recover； the confusion vanished and his whole body seemed to
harden。 “Oh。 Never mind the wolves； then； if the idea is offensive to you。” His voice was stiff； formal； his
shoulders rigid。
“He was my best friend； Edward；” I muttered。 It stung to use the past tense。 “Of course the idea offends
me。”
“Please forgive my thoughtlessness；” he said； still very formal。 “I shouldn’t have suggested that。”
“Don’t worry about it。” I stared at my hands； clenched into a double fist on the table。
We were both silent for a moment； and then his cool finger was under my chin； coaxing my face up。 His
expression was much softer now。
“Sorry。 Really。”
“I know。 I know it’s not the same thing。 I shouldn’t have reacted that way。 It’s just that 。 。 。 well； I was
already thinking about Jacob before you came over。” I hesitated。 His tawny eyes seemed to get a little bit
darker whenever I said Jacob’s name。 My voice turned pleading in response。 “Charlie says Jake is having a
hard time。 He’s hurting right now； and 。 。 。 it’s my fault。”
“You’ve done nothing wrong； Bella。”
I took a deep breath。 “I need to make it better； Edward。 I owe him that。 And it’s one of Charlie’s
conditions； anyway —”
His face changed while I spoke； turning hard again； statuelike。
“You know it’s out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected； Bella。 And it would
break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land。 Do you want us to start a war？”
“Of course not！”
“Then there’s really no point in discussing the matter further。” He dropped his hand and looked away；
searching for a subject change。 His eyes paused on something behind me； and he smiled； though his eyes
stayed wary。
“I’m glad Charlie has decided to let you out — you’re sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore。 I can’t
believe you’re reading Wuthering Heights again。 Don’t you know it by heart yet？”
“Not all of us have photographic memories；” I said curtly。
“Photographic memory or not； I don’t understand why you like it。 The characters are ghastly people who
ruin each others’ lives。 I don’t know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like
Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Ben and Mr。 Darcy。 It isn’t a love story； it’s a hate story。”
“You have some serious issues with the classics；” I snapped。
“Perhaps it’s because I’m not impressed by antiquity。” He smiled； evidently satisfied that he’d distracted
me。 “Honestly； though； why do you read it over and over？” His eyes were vivid with real interest now； trying
— again — to unravel the convoluted workings of my mind。 He reached across the table to cradle my face in
his hand。 “What is it that appeals to you？”
His sincere curiosity disarmed me。 “I’m not sure；” I said； scrambling for coherency while his gaze
unintentionally scattered my thoughts。 “I think it’s something about the inevitability。 How nothing can keep
them apart — not her selfishness； or his evil； or even death； in the end。 。 。 。”
His face was thoughtful as he considered my words。 After a moment he smiled a teasing smile。 “I still think
it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality。”
“I think that may be the point；” I disagreed。 “Their love is their only redeeming quality。”
“I hope you have better sense than that — to fall in love with someone so 。 。 。 malignant。”
“It’s a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with；” I pointed out。 “But even without the warning；
I seem to have managed fairly well。”
He laughed quietly。 “I’m glad you think so。”
“Well； I hope you’re smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish。 Catherine is really the source of
all the trouble； not Heathcliff。”
“I’ll be on my guard；” he promised。
I sighed。 He was so good at distractions。
I put my hand over his to hold it to my face。 “I need to see Jacob。”
His eyes closed。 “No。”
“It’s truly not dangerous at all；” I said； pleading again。 “I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole
lot of them； and nothing ever happened。”
But I made a slip； my voice faltered at the end because I realized as I was saying the words that they were
a lie。 It was not true that nothing had ever happened。 A brief flash of memory — an enormous gray wolf
crouched to spring； baring his daggerlike teeth at me — had my palms sweating with an echo of remembered
panic。
Edward heard my heart accelerate and nodded as if I’d acknowledged the lie aloud。 “Werewolves are
unstable。 Sometimes； the people near them get hurt。 Sometimes； they get killed。”
I wanted to deny it； but another image slowed my rebuttal。 I saw in my head the once beautiful face of
Emily Young； now marred by a trio of dark scars that dragged down the corner of her right eye and left her
mouth warped forever into a lopsided scowl。
He waited； grimly triumphant； for me to find my voice。
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