3 eclipse月食-第28部分

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apologized　each　time　I　screamed。　
“Edward　wasn’t　happy。　I　remember　hearing　them　discuss　me。　I　stopped　screaming　sometimes。　It　did　no　
good　to　scream。　
“‘What　were　you　thinking；　Carlisle？’　Edward　said。　‘Rosalie　Hale？’”　Rosalie　imitated　Edward’s　irritated　
tone　to　perfection。　“I　didn’t　like　the　way　he　said　my　name；　like　there　was　something　wrong　with　me。　
“‘I　couldn’t　just　let　her　die；’　Carlisle　said　quietly。　‘It　was　too　much　—　too　horrible；　too　much　waste。’　
“‘I　know；’　Edward　said；　and　I　thought　he　sounded　dismissive。　It　angered　me。　I　didn’t　know　then　that　he　
really　could　see　exactly　what　Carlisle　had　seen。　
“‘It　was　too　much　waste。　I　couldn’t　leave　her；’　Carlisle　repeated　in　a　whisper。　
“‘Of　course　you　couldn’t；’　Esme　agreed。　
“‘People　die　all　the　time；’　Edward　reminded　him　in　a　hard　voice。　‘Don’t　you　think　she’s　just　a　little　
recognizable；　though？　The　Kings　will　have　to　put　up　a　huge　search　—　not　that　anyone　suspects　the　fiend；’　he　
growled。　
“It　pleased　me　that　they　seemed　to　know　that　Royce　was　guilty。　
“I　didn’t　realize　that　it　was　almost　over　—　that　I　was　getting　stronger　and　that　was　why　I　was　able　to　
concentrate　on　what　they　were　saying。　The　pain　was　beginning　to　fade　from　my　fingertips。　
“‘What　are　we　going　to　do　with　her？’　Edward　said　disgustedly　—　or　that’s　how　it　sounded　to　me；　at　least。　
“Carlisle　sighed。　‘That’s　up　to　her；　of　course。　She　may　want　to　go　her　own　way。’　
“I’d　believed　enough　of　what　he’d　told　me　that　his　words　terrified　me。　I　knew　that　my　life　was　ended；　and　
there　was　no　going　back　for　me。　I　couldn’t　stand　the　thought　of　being　alone。　。　。　。　
“The　pain　finally　ended　and　they　explained　to　me　again　what　I　was。　This　time　I　believed。　I　felt　the　thirst；　my　
hard　skin；　I　saw　my　brilliant　red　eyes。　
“Shallow　as　I　was；　I　felt　better　when　I　saw　my　reflection　in　the　mirror　the　first　time。　Despite　the　eyes；　I　was　
the　most　beautiful　thing　I’d　ever　seen。”　She　laughed　at　herself　for　a　moment。　“It　took　some　time　before　I　began　
to　blame　the　beauty　for　what　had　happened　to　me　—　for　me　to　see　the　curse　of　it。　To　wish　that　I　had　been　。　。　。　
well；　not　ugly；　but　normal。　Like　Vera。　So　I　could　have　been　allowed　to　marry　someone　who　loved　me；　and　
have　pretty　babies。　That’s　what　I’d　really　wanted；　all　along。　It　still　doesn’t　seem　like　too　much　to　have　asked　
for。”　
She　was　thoughtful　for　a　moment；　and　I　wondered　if　she’d　forgotten　my　presence　again。　But　then　she　
smiled　at　me；　her　expression　suddenly　triumphant。　
“You　know；　my　record　is　almost　as　clean　as　Carlisle’s；”　she　told　me。　“Better　than　Esme。　A　thousand　times　
better　than　Edward。　I’ve　never　tasted　human　blood；”　she　announced　proudly。　
She　understood　my　puzzled　expression　as　I　wondered　why　her　record　was　only　almost　as　clean。　
“I　did　murder　five　humans；”　she　told　me　in　a　placent　tone。　“If　you　can　really　call　them　human。　But　I　
was　very　careful　not　to　spill　their　blood　—　I　knew　I　wouldn’t　be　able　to　resist　that；　and　I　didn’t　want　any　part　
of　them　in　me；　you　see。　
“I　saved　Royce　for　last。　I　hoped　that　he　would　hear　of　his　friends’　deaths　and　understand；　know　what　was　
ing　for　him。　I　hoped　the　fear　would　make　the　end　worse　for　him。　I　think　it　worked。　He　was　hiding　inside　a　
windowless　room　behind　a　door　as　thick　as　a　bank　vault’s；　guarded　outside　by　armed　men；　when　I　caught　up　
with　him。　Oops　—　seven　murders；”　she　corrected　herself。　“I　forgot　about　his　guards。　They　only　took　a　
second。”　
“I　was　overly　theatrical。　It　was　kind　of　childish；　really。　I　wore　a　wedding　dress　I’d　stolen　for　the　occasion。　
He　screamed　when　he　saw　me。　He　screamed　a　lot　that　night。　Saving　him　for　last　was　a　good　idea　—　it　made　it　
easier　for　me　to　control　myself；　to　make　it　slower　—”　
She　broke　off　suddenly；　and　she　glanced　down　at　me。　“I’m　sorry；”　she　said　in　a　chagrined　voice。　“I’m　
frightening　you；　aren’t　I？”　
“I’m　fine；”　I　lied。　
“I　got　carried　away。”　
“Don’t　worry　about　it。”　
“I’m　surprised　Edward　didn’t　tell　you　more　about　it。”　
“He　doesn’t　like　to　tell　other　people’s　stories　—　he　feels　like　he’s　betraying　confidences；　because　he　hears　
so　much　more　than　just　the　parts　they　mean　for　him　to　hear。”　

She　smiled　and　shook　her　head。　“I　probably　ought　to　give　him　more　credit。　He’s　really　quite　decent；　isn’t　
he？”　
“I　think　so。”　
“I　can　tell。”　Then　she　sighed。　“I　haven’t　been　fair　to　you；　either；　Bella。　Did　he　tell　you　why？　Or　was　that　
too　confidential？”　
“He　said　it　was　because　I　was　human。　He　said　it　was　harder　for　you　to　have　someone　on　the　outside　who　
knew。”　
Rosalie’s　musical　laughter　interrupted　me。　“Now　I　really　feel　guilty。　He’s　been　much；　much　kinder　to　me　
than　I　deserve。”　She　seemed　warmer　as　she　laughed；　like　she’d　let　down　some　guard　that　had　never　been　
absent　in　my　presence　before。　“What　a　liar　that　boy　is。”　She　laughed　again。　
“He　was　lying？”　I　asked；　suddenly　wary。　
“Well；　that’s　probably　putting　it　too　strongly。　He　just　didn’t　tell　you　the　whole　story。　What　he　told　you　was　
true；　even　truer　now　than　it　was　before。　However；　at　the　time　。　。　。”　She　broke　off；　chuckling　nervously。　“It’s　
embarrassing。　You　see；　at　first；　I　was　mostly　jealous　because　he　wanted　you　and　not　me。”　
Her　words　sent　a　thrill　of　fear　through　me。　Sitting　there　in　the　silver　light；　she　was　more　beautiful　than　
anything　else　I　could　imagine。　I　could　not　pete　with　Rosalie。　
“But　you　love　Emmett　。　。　。　；”　I　mumbled。　
She　shook　her　head　back　and　forth；　amused。　“I　don’t　want　Edward　that　way；　Bella。　I　never　did　—　I　love　
him　as　a　brother；　but　he’s　irritated　me　from　the　first　moment　I　heard　him　speak。　You　have　to　understand；　
though　。　。　。　I　was　so　used　to　people　wanting　me。　And　Edward　wasn’t　the　least　bit　interested。　It　frustrated　me；　
even　offended　me　in　the　beginning。　But　he　never　wanted　anyone；　so　it　didn’t　bother　me　long。　Even　when　we　
first　met　Tanya’s　clan　in　Denali　—　all　those　females！　—　Edward　never　showed　the　slightest　preference。　And　
then　he　met　you。”　She　looked　at　me　with　confused　eyes。　I　was　only　half　paying　attention。　I　was　thinking　about　
Edward　and　Tanya　and　all　those　females；　and　my　lips　pressed　together　in　a　hard　line。　
“Not　that　you　aren’t　pretty；　Bella；”　she　said；　misreading　my　expression。　“But　it　just　meant　that　he　found　
you　more　attractive　than　me。　I’m　vain　enough　that　I　minded。”　
“But　you　said　‘at　first。’　That　doesn’t　still　。　。　。　bother　you；　does　it？　I　mean；　we　both　know　you’re　the　most　
beautiful　person　on　the　pla。”　
I　laughed　at　having　to　say　the　words　—　it　was　so　obvious。　How　odd　that　Rosalie　should　need　such　
reassurances。　
Rosalie　laughed；　too。　“Thanks；　Bella。　And　no；　it　doesn’t　really　bother　me　anymore。　Edward　has　always　
been　a　little　strange。”　She　laughed　again。　
“But　you　still　don’t　like　me；”　I　whispered。　
Her　smile　faded。　“I’m　sorry　about　that。”　
We　sat　in　silence　for　a　moment；　and　she　didn’t　seem　inclined　to　go　on。　
“Would　you　tell　me　why？　Did　I　do　something　。　。　。　？”　Was　she　angry　that　I’d　put　her　family　—　her　Emmett　
—　in　danger？　Time　and　time　again。　James；　and　now　Victoria　。　。　。　
“No；　you　haven’t　done　anything；”　she　murmured。　“Not　yet。”　
I　stared　at　her；　perplexed。　
“Don’t　you　see；　Bella？”　Her　voice　was　suddenly　more　passionate　than　before；　even　while　she’d　told　her　
unhappy　story。　“You　already　have　everything。　You　have　a　whole　life　ahead　of　you　—　everything　I　want。　And　
you’re　going　to　just　throw　it　away。　Can’t　you　see　that　I’d　trade　everything　I　have　to　be　you？　You　have　the　
choice　that　I　didn’t　have；　and　you’re　choosing　wrong！”　
I　flinched　back　from　her　fierce　expression。　I　realized　my　mouth　had　fallen　open　and　I　snapped　it　shut。　
She　stared　at　me　for　a　long　moment　and；　slowly；　the　fervor　in　her　eyes　dimmed。　Abruptly；　she　was　
abashed。　
“And　I　was　so　sure　that　I　could　do　this　calmly。”　She　shook　her　head；　seeming　a　little　dazed　by　the　flood　of　
emotion。　“It’s　just　that　it’s　harder　now　than　it　was　then；　when　it　was　no　more　than　vanity。”　
She　stared　at　the　moon　in　silence。　It　was　a　few　moments　before　I　was　brave　enough　to　break　into　her　
reverie。　
“Would　you　like　me　better　if　I