[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第120部分
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stooped to gather the papers she had let fall。 But he took
them in his hands and; giving her by a sudden impulse
his own unfinished dissertation; with its mystical conclusion;
they read each other’s positions in silence。
Katharine read his sheets to an end; Ralph followed her
figures as far as his mathematics would let him。 They
came to the end of their tasks at about the same moment;
and sat for a time in silence。
“Those were the papers you left on the seat at Kew;”
said Ralph at length。 “You folded them so quickly that I
couldn’t see what they were。”
She blushed very deeply; but as she did not move or
attempt to hide her face she had the appearance of some
one disarmed of all defences; or Ralph likened her to a
wild bird just settling with wings trembling to fold them
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selves within reach of his hand。 The moment of exposure
had been exquisitely painful—the light shed startlingly
vivid。 She had now to get used to the fact that some one
shared her loneliness。 The bewilderment was half shame
and half the prelude to profound rejoicing。 Nor was she
unconscious that on the surface the whole thing must
appear of the utmost absurdity。 She looked to see whether
Ralph smiled; but found his gaze fixed on her with such
gravity that she turned to the belief that she had mitted
no sacrilege but enriched herself; perhaps immeasurably;
perhaps eternally。 She hardly dared steep herself
in the infinite bliss。 But his glance seemed to ask for
some assurance upon another point of vital interest to
him。 It beseeched her mutely to tell him whether what
she had read upon his confused sheet had any meaning
or truth to her。 She bent her head once more to the papers
she held。
“I like your little dot with the flames round it;” she
said meditatively。
Ralph nearly tore the page from her hand in shame and
despair when he saw her actually contemplating the idi
otic symbol of his most confused and emotional moments。
He was convinced that it could mean nothing to another;
although somehow to him it conveyed not only
Katharine herself but all those states of mind which had
clustered round her since he first saw her pouring out tea
on a Sunday afternoon。 It represented by its circumference
of smudges surrounding a central blot all that encircling
glow which for him surrounded; inexplicably; so many
of the objects of life; softening their sharp outline; so
that he could see certain streets; books; and situations
wearing a halo almost perceptible to the physical eye。
Did she smile? Did she put the paper down wearily; condemning
it not only for its inadequacy but for its falsity?
Was she going to protest once more that he only loved
the vision of her? But it did not occur to her that this
diagram had anything to do with her。 She said simply;
and in the same tone of reflection:
“Yes; the world looks something like that to me too。”
He received her assurance with profound joy。 Quietly
and steadily there rose up behind the whole aspect of
life that soft edge of fire which gave its red tint to the
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Night and Day
atmosphere and crowded the scene with shadows so deep
and dark that one could fancy pushing farther into their
density and still farther; exploring indefinitely。 Whether
there was any correspondence between the two prospects
now opening before them they shared the same sense of
the impending future; vast; mysterious; infinitely stored
with undeveloped shapes which each would unwrap for
the other to behold; but for the present the prospect of
the future was enough to fill them with silent adoration。
At any rate; their further attempts to municate articulately
were interrupted by a knock on the door; and
the entrance of a maid who; with a due sense of mystery;
announced that a lady wished to see Miss Hilbery; but
refused to allow her name to be given。
When Katharine rose; with a profound sigh; to resume
her duties; Ralph went with her; and neither of them formulated
any guess; on their way downstairs; as to who
this anonymous lady might prove to be。 Perhaps the fantastic
notion that she was a little black hunchback provided
with a steel knife; which she would plunge into
Katharine’s heart; appeared to Ralph more probable than
another; and he pushed first into the diningroom to avert
the blow。 Then he exclaimed “Cassandra!” with such heartiness
at the sight of Cassandra Otway standing by the
diningroom table that she put her finger to her lips and
begged him to be quiet。
“Nobody must know I’m here;” she explained in a sepulchral
whisper。 “I missed my train。 I have been wandering
about London all day。 I can bear it no longer。
Katharine; what am I to do?”
Katharine pushed forward a chair; Ralph hastily found
wine and poured it out for her。 If not actually fainting;
she was very near it。
“William’s upstairs;” said Ralph; as soon as she appeared
to be recovered。 “I’ll go and ask him to e down to
you。” His own happiness had given him a confidence that
every one else was bound to be happy too。 But Cassandra
had her uncle’s mands and anger too vividly in her
mind to dare any such defiance。 She became agitated
and said that she must leave the house at once。 She was
not in a condition to go; had they known where to send
her。 Katharine’s mon sense; which had been in abey
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ance for the past week or two; still failed her; and she
could only ask; “But where’s your luggage?” in the vague
belief that to take lodgings depended entirely upon a
sufficiency of luggage。 Cassandra’s reply; “I’ve lost my
luggage;” in no way helped her to a conclusion。
“You’ve lost your luggage;” she repeated。 Her eyes rested
upon Ralph; with an expression which seemed better fitted
to acpany a profound thanksgiving for his existence
or some vow of eternal devotion than a question
about luggage。 Cassandra perceived the look; and saw
that it was returned; her eyes filled with tears。 She faltered
in what she was saying。 She began bravely again to
discuss the question of lodging when Katharine; who
seemed to have municated silently with Ralph; and
obtained his permission; took her ruby ring from her finger
and giving it to Cassandra; said: “I believe it will fit
you without any alteration。”
These words would not have been enough to convince
Cassandra of what she very much wished to believe had
not Ralph taken the bare hand in his and demanded:
“Why don’t you tell us you’re glad?” Cassandra was so
glad that the tears ran down her cheeks。 The certainty of
Katharine’s engagement not only relieved her of a thousand
vague fears and selfreproaches; but entirely
quenched that spirit of criticism which had lately impaired
her belief in Katharine。 Her old faith came back to
her。 She seemed to behold her with that curious intensity
which she had lost; as a being who walks just beyond our
sphere; so that life in their presence is a heightened process;
illuminating not only ourselves but a considerable
stretch of the surrounding world。 Next moment she contrasted
her own lot with theirs and gave back the ring。
“I won’t take that unless William gives it me himself;”
she said。 “Keep it for me; Katharine。”
“I assure you everything’s perfectly all right;” said Ralph。
“Let me tell William—”
He was about; in spite of Cassandra’s protest; to reach
the door; when Mrs。 Hilbery; either warned by the parlor
maid or conscious with her usual prescience of the need
for her intervention; opened the door and smilingly surveyed
them。
“My dear Cassandra!” she exclaimed。 “How delightful to
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Night and Day
see you back again! What a coincidence!” she observed;
in a general way。 “William is upstairs。 The kettle boils
over。 Where’s Katharine; I say? I go to look; and I find
Cassandra!” She seemed to have proved something to her
own satisfaction; although nobody felt certain what thing
precisely it was。
“I find Cassandra;” she repeated。
“She miss