4 breaking dawn破晓-第53部分

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my　arms　around　her。　So　I　just　leaned　carefully　against　her　side；　letting　my　arm　rest　along　the　length　of　
hers；　and　held　her　hand。　Then　I　put　my　other　hand　against　her　face。　It　was　hard　to　tell　if　she　felt　colder　
than　usual。　

〃Thanks；　Jake；〃　she　said；　and　I　felt　her　shiver　once。　

〃Yeah；〃　I　said。　

Edward　sat　on　the　arm　of　the　sofa　by　Bella's　feet；　his　eyes　always　on　her　face。　

It　was　too　much　to　hope；　with　all　the　superhearing　in　the　room；　that　no　one　would　notice　my　stomach　
rumbling。　

〃Rosalie；　why　don't　you　get　Jacob　something　from　the　kitchen？〃　Alice　said。　She　was　invisible　now；　sitting　
quietly　behind　the　back　of　the　sofa。　

Rosalie　stared　at　the　place　Alice's　voice　had　e　from　in　disbelief。　

〃Thanks；　anyway；　Alice；　but　I　don't　think　I'd　want　to　eat　something　Blondie's　spit　in。　I'd　bet　my　system　
wouldn't　take　too　kindly　to　venom。〃　



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〃Rosalie　would　never　embarrass　Esme　by　displaying　such　a　lack　of　hospitality。〃　

〃Of　course　not；〃　Blondie　said　in　a　sugarsweet　voice　that　I　immediately　distrusted。　She　got　up　and　
breezed　out　of　the　room。　

Edward　sighed。　

〃You'd　tell　me　if　she　poisoned　it；　right？〃　I　asked。　

〃Yes；〃　Edward　promised。　

And　for　some　reason　I　believed　him。　

There　was　a　lot　of　banging　in　the　kitchen；　and—weirdly—the　sound　of　metal　protesting　as　it　was　
abused。　Edward　sighed　again；　but　smiled　just　a　little；　too。　Then　Rosalie　was　back　before　I　could　think　
much　more　about　it。　With　a　pleased　smirk；　she　set　a　silver　bowl　on　the　floor　next　to　me。　

〃Enjoy；　mongrel。〃　

It　had　once　probably　been　a　big　mixing　bowl；　but　she'd　bent　the　bowl　back　in　on　itself　until　it　was　
shaped　almost　exactly　like　a　dog　dish。　I　had　to　be　impressed　with　her　quick　craftsmanship。　And　her　
attention　to　detail。　She'd　

scratched　the　word　Fido　into　the　side。　Excellent　handwriting。　

Because　the　food　looked　pretty　good—steak；　no　less；　and　a　big　baked　potato　with　all　the　fixings—I　told　
her；　〃Thanks；　Blondie。〃　

She　snorted。　

〃Hey；　do　you　know　what　you　call　a　blonde　with　a　brain？〃　I　asked；　and　then　continued　on　the　same　
breath；　〃a　golden　retriever。〃　

〃I've　heard　that　one；　too；〃　she　said；　no　longer　smiling。　

〃I'll　keep　trying；〃　I　promised；　and　then　I　dug　in。　

She　made　a　disgusted　face　and　rolled　her　eyes。　Then　she　sat　in　one　of　the　armchairs　and　started　flicking　
through　channels　on　the　big　TV　so　fast　that　there　was　no　way　she　could　really　be　surfing　for　something　to　
watch。　

The　food　was　good；　even　with　the　vampire　stink　in　the　air。　I　was　getting　really　used　to　that。　Huh。　Not　
something　I'd　been　wanting　to　do；　exactly。。。　

When　I　was　finished—though　I　was　considering　licking　the　bowl；　just　to　give　Rosalie　something　to　
plain　about—I　felt　Bella's　cold　fingers　pulling　softly　through　my　hair。　She　patted　it　down　against　the　
back　of　my　neck。　

〃Time　for　a　haircut；　huh？〃　




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〃You're　getting　a　little　shaggy；〃　she　said。　〃Maybe—〃　

〃Let　me　guess；　someone　around　here　used　to　cut　hair　in　a　salon　in　Paris？〃　

She　chuckled。　〃Probably。〃　

〃No　thanks；〃　I　said　before　she　could　really　offer。　〃I'm　good　for　a　few　more　weeks。〃　

Which　made　me　wonder　how　long　she　was　good　for。　I　tried　to　think　of　a　polite　way　to　ask。　

〃So。。。　urn。。。　what's　the；　er；　date？　You　know；　the　due　date　for　the　little　monster。〃　

She　smacked　the　back　of　my　head　with　about　as　much　force　as　a　drifting　feather；　but　didn't　answer。　

〃I'm　serious；〃　I　told　her。　〃I　want　to　know　how　long　I'm　gonna　have　to　be　here。〃　How　long　you're　gonna　
be　here；　I　added　in　my　head。　I　turned　to　look　at　her　then。　Her　eyes　were　thoughtful；　the　stress　line　was　
there　between　her　brows　again。　

〃I　don't　know；〃　she　murmured。　〃Not　exactly。　Obviously；　we're　not　going　with　the　ninemonth　model　
here；　and　we　can't　get　an　ultrasound；　so　Carlisle　is　guesstimating　from　how　big　I　am。　Normal　people　are　
supposed　to　be　about　forty　centimeters　here〃—she　ran　her　finger　right　down　the　middle　of　her　bulging　
stomach—〃when　the　baby　is　fully　grown。　One　centimeter　for　every　week。　I　was　thirty　this　morning；　and　
I've　been　gaining　about　two　centimeters　a　day；　sometimes　more___〃　

Two　weeks　to　a　day；　the　days　flying　by。　Her　life　speeding　by　in　fastforward。　How　many　days　did　that　
give　her；　if　she　was　counting　to　forty？　Four？　It　took　me　a　minute　to　figure　out　how　to　swallow。　

〃You　okay？〃　she　asked。　

I　nodded；　not　really　sure　how　my　voice　would　e　out。　

Edward's　face　was　turned　away　from　us　as　he　listened　to　my　thoughts；　but　I　could　see　his　reflection　in　
the　glass　

wall。　He　was　the　burning　man　again。　

Funny　how　having　a　deadline　made　it　harder　to　think　about　leaving；　or　having　her　leave。　I　was　glad　
Seth'd　brought　that　up；　so　I　knew　they　were　staying　here。　It　would　be　intolerable；　wondering　if　they　were　
about　to　go；　to　take　away　one　or　two　or　three　of　those　four　days。　My　four　days。　

Also　funny　how；　even　knowing　that　it　was　almost　over；　the　hold　she　had　on　me　only　got　harder　to　break。　
Almost　like　it　was　related　to　her　expanding　belly—as　if　by　getting　bigger；　she　was　gaining　gravitational　
force。　

For　a　minute　I　tried　to　look　at　her　from　a　distance；　to　separate　myself　from　the　pull。　I　knew　it　wasn't　my　
imagination　that　my　need　for　her　was　stronger　than　ever。　Why　was　that？　Because　she　was　dying？　Or　
knowing　that　even　if　she　didn't；　still—best　case　scenario—she'd　be　changing　into　something　else　that　I　
wouldn't　know　or　understand？　

She　ran　her　finger　across　my　cheekbone；　and　my　skin　was　wet　where　she　touched　it。　




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〃It's　going　to　be　okay；〃　she　sort　of　crooned。　It　didn't　matter　that　the　words　meant　nothing。　She　said　it　the　
way　people　sang　those　senseless　nursery　rhymes　to　kids。　Rockabye；　baby。　

〃Right；〃　I　muttered。　

She　curled　against　my　arm；　resting　her　head　on　my　shoulder。　〃I　didn't　think　you　would　e。　Seth　said　
you　would；　and　so　did　Edward；　but　I　didn't　believe　them。〃　

〃Why　not？〃　I　asked　gruffly。　

〃You're　not　happy　here。　But　you　came　anyway。〃　

〃You　wanted　me　here。〃　

〃I　know。　But　you　didn't　have　to　e；　because　it's　not　fair　for　me　to　want　you　here。　I　would　have　
understood。〃　

It　was　quiet　for　a　minute。　Edward'd　put　his　face　back　together。　He　looked　at　the　TV　as　Rosalie　went　on　
flipping　through　the　channels。　She　was　into　the　six　hundreds。　I　wondered　how　long　it　would　take　to　get　
back　to　the　beginning。　

〃Thank　you　for　ing；〃　Bella　whispered。　

〃Can　I　ask　you　something？〃　I　asked。　

〃Of　course。〃　

Edward　didn't　look　like　he　was　paying　attention　to　us　at　all；　but　he　knew　what　I　was　about　to　ask；　so　he　
didn't　fool　me。　

〃Why　do　you　want　me　here？　Seth　could　keep　you　warm；　and　he's　probably　easier　to　be　around；　happy　
little　punk。　But　when　　walk　in　the　door；　you　smile　like　I'm　your　favorite　person　in　the　world。〃　

〃You're　one　of　them。〃　

〃That　sucks；　you　know。〃　

〃Yeah。〃　She　sighed。　〃Sorry。〃　

〃Why；　though？　You　didn't　answer　that。〃　

Edward　was　looking　away　again；　like　he　was　staring　out　the　windows。　His　face　was　blank　in　the　
reflection。　

〃It　feels。。。　plete　when　you're　here；　Jacob。　Like　all　my　family　is　together。　I　mean；　I　guess　that's　what　
it's　

like—I've　never　had　a　big　family　before　now。　It's　nice。〃　She　smiled　for　half　a　second。　〃But　it's　just　not　
whole　unless　you're　here。〃　

〃I'll　never　be　part　of　your　family；　Bella。〃　



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I　could　have　been。　I　would　have　been　good　there。　But　that　was　just　a　distant　future　that　died　long　before　
it　had　a　chance　to　live。　

〃You've　always　been　a　part　of　my　family；〃　she　disagreed。　

My　teeth　made　a　grinding　sound。　'That's　a　crap　answer。〃　

〃What's　a　good　one？〃　

〃How　about；　'Jacob；　I　get　a　kick　out　of　your　pain。'〃　

I　felt　her　flinch。　

〃You'd　like　that　better？〃　she　whispered。　

〃It's　easier；　at　least。　I　could　wrap　my　head　around　it。　I　could　deal　with　it。〃　

I　looked　back　down　at　her　face　then；　so　close　to　mine。　Her　eyes　we