4 breaking dawn破晓-第42部分

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others　think　I　fell　asleep。　But　the　whole　twoseparatepacks；　twoseparatepackminds　thing　gave　mea　
lot　to　sift　through。　In　the　end；　I　weighed　Seth's　safety　and　the；　er；　other　benefits　against　the　idea　of　
turning　traitor　and　sniffing　vampire　stink　for　who　knows　how　long。　You　know　what　I　decided。　I　
left　a　note　for　my　mom。　I　expect　we'll　hear　it　when　Sam　finds　out　。　。。　

Leah　cocked　an　ear　to　the　west。　

Yeah；　I　expect　we　will；I　agreed。　

So　that's　everything。　What　do　we　do　now？she　asked。　

She　and　Seth　both　looked　at　me　expectantly。　

This　was　exactly　the　kind　of　thing　I　didn't　want　to　have　to　do。　



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　guess　we　just　keep　an　eye　out　for　now。　That's　all　we　can　do。　You　should　probably　take　a　nap；　
Leah。　

You've　had　as　much　sleep　as　I　have。　

Thought　you　were　going　to　do　what　you　were　told？　

Right。　That's　going　to　get　old；she　grumbled；　and　then　she　yawned。　Well；　whatever。　I　don't　care。　

I'll　run　the　border；　Jake。　I'm　not　tired　at　all。Seth　was　so　glad　I　hadn't　forced　them　home；　he　was　all　but　
prancing　with　excitement。　

Sure；　sure。　I'm　going　to　go　check　in　with　the　Cullens。　

Seth　took　off　along　the　new　path　worn　into　the　damp　earth。　Leah　looked　after　him　thoughtfully。　

Maybe　a　round　or　two　before　I　crash。。。。　Hey　Seth；　wanna　see　how　many　times　I　can　lap　you？　

NO！　

Barking　out　a　low　chuckle；　Leah　lunged　into　the　woods　after　him。　

I　growled　uselessly。　So　much　for　peace　and　quiet。　

Leah　was　trying—for　Leah。　She　kept　her　jibes　to　a　minimum　as　she　raced　around　the　circuit；　but　it　was　
impossible　not　to　be　aware　of　her　smug　mood。　I　thought　of　the　whole　〃two's　pany〃　saying。　It　didn't　
really　apply；　because　one　was　plenty　to　my　mind。　But　if　there　had　to　be　three　of　us；　it　was　hard　to　think　
of　anyone　that　I　wouldn't　trade　her　for。　

Paul？she　suggested。　

Maybe；I　allowed。　

She　laughed　to　herself；　too　jittery　and　hyper　to　get　offended；　i　wondered　how　long　the　buzz　from　
dodging　Sam's　pity　would　last。　

That　will　be　my　goal　then—to　be　less　annoying　than　Paul。　

Yeah；　work　on　that　

I　changed　into　my　other　form　when　I　was　a　few　yards　from　the　lawn。　I　hadn't　been　planning　to　spend　
much　time　human　here。　But　I　hadn't　been　planning　to　have　Leah　in　my　head；　either。　I　pulled　on　my　ragged　
shorts　and　started　across　the　lawn。　

The　door　opened　before　I　got　to　the　steps；　and　I　was　surprised　to　see　Carlisle　rather　than　Edward　step　
outside　to　meet　me—his　face　looked　exhausted　and　defeated。　For　a　second；　my　heart　froze。　I　faltered　to　
a　stop；　unable　to　speak。　

〃Are　you　all　right；　Jacob？〃　Carlisle　asked。　




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〃Is　Bella？〃　I　choked　out。　

〃She's。。。　much　the　same　as　last　night。　Did　I　startle　you？　I'm　sorry。　Edward　said　you　were　ing　in　your　
human　form；　and　I　came　out　to　greet　you；　as　he　didn't　want　to　leave　her。　She's　awake。〃　

And　Edward　didn't　want　to　lose　any　time　with　her；　because　he　didn't　have　much　time　left。　Carlisle　didn't　
say　the　words　out　loud；　but　he　might　as　well　have。　

It　had　been　a　while　since　I'd　slept—since　before　my　last　patrol。　I　could　really　feel　that　now。　I　took　a　step　
forward；　sat　down　on　the　porch　steps；　and　slumped　against　the　railing。　

Moving　whisperquiet　as　only　a　vampire　could；　Carlisle　took　a　seat　on　the　same　step；　against　the　other　
railing。　

〃I　didn't　get　a　chance　to　thank　you　last　night；　Jacob。　You　don't　know　how　much　I　appreciate　your。。。　
passion。　I　know　your　goal　was　to　protect　Bella；　but　I　owe　you　the　safety　of　the　rest　of　my　family　as　
well。　Edward　told　me　what　you　had　to　do___〃　

〃Don't　mention　it；〃　I　muttered。　

〃If　you　prefer。〃　

We　sat　in　silence。　I　could　hear　the　others　in　the　house。　Emmett；　Alice；　and　Jasper；　speaking　in　low；　
serious　voices　upstairs。　Esme　humming　tunelessly　in　another　room。　Rosalie　and　Edward　breathing　close　
by—I　couldn't　tell　which　was　which；　but　I　could　hear　the　difference　in　Bella's　labored　panting。　I　could　
hear　her　heart；　too。　It　seemed。。。　uneven。　

It　was　like　fate　was　out　to　make　me　do　everything　I'd　ever　sworn　I　wouldn't　in　the　course　of　twentyfour　
hours。　Here　I　was；　hanging　around；　waiting　for　her　to　die。　

I　didn't　want　to　listen　anymore。　Talking　was　better　than　listening。　

〃She's　family　to　you？〃　I　asked　Carlisle。　It　had　caught　my　notice　before；　when　he'd　said　I'd　helped　the　
rest　of　his　family；　too。　

〃Yes。　Bella　is　already　a　daughter　to　me。　A　beloved　daughter。〃　

〃But　you're　going　to　let　her　die。〃　

He　was　quiet　long　enough　that　I　looked　up。　His　face　was　very；　very　tired。　I　knew　how　he　felt。　

〃I　can　imagine　what　you　think　of　me　for　that；〃　he　finally　said。　〃But　i　can't　ignore　her　will。　It　wouldn't　be　
right　to　make　such　a　choice　for　her；　to　force　her。〃　

I　wanted　to　be　angry　with　him；　but　he　was　making　it　hard。　It　was　like　he　was　throwing　my　own　words　
back　at　me；　just　scrambled　up。　They'd　sounded　right　before；　but　they　couldn't　be　right　now。　Not　with　
Bella　dying。　Still。。。　I　remembered　how　it　felt　to　be　broken　on　the　ground　under　Sam—to　have　no　choice　
but　be　involved　in　the　murder　of　someone　I　loved。　It　wasn't　the　same；　though。　Sam　was　wrong。　And　
Bella　loved　things　she　shouldn't。　

〃Do　you　think　there's　any　chance　she'll　make　it？　I　mean；　as　a　vampire　and　all　that。　She　told　me　about。。。　



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about　Esme。〃　

Tel　say　there's　an　even　chance　at　this　point；〃　he　answered　quietly。　〃I've　seen　vampire　venom　work　
miracles；　but　there　are　conditions　that　even　venom　cannot　overe。　Her　heart　is　working　too　hard　now；　
if　it　should　fail。。。　there　won't　be　anything　for　me　to　do。〃　

Bella's　heartbeat　throbbed　and　faltered；　giving　an　agonizing　emphasis　to　his　words。　

Maybe　the　pla　had　started　turning　backward。　Maybe　that　would　explain　how　everything　was　the　
opposite　of　what　it　had　been　yesterday—how　I　could　be　hoping　for　what　had　once　seemed　like　the　very　
worst　thing　in　the　world。　

〃What　is　that　thing　doing　to　her？〃　I　whispered。　〃She　was　so　much　worse　last　night。　I　saw。。。　the　tubes　and　
all　that。　Through　the　window。〃　

〃The　fetus　isn't　patible　with　her　body。　Too　strong；　for　one　thing；　but　she　could　probably　endure　that　
for　a　while。　The　bigger　problem　is　that　it　won't　allow　her　to　get　the　sustenance　she　needs。　Her　body　is　
rejecting　every　form　of　nutrition。　I'm　trying　to　feed　her　intravenously；　but　she's　just　not　absorbing　it。　
Everything　about　her　condition　is　accelerated。　I'm　watching　her—and　not　just　her；　but　the　fetus　as　
well—starve　to　death　by　the　hour。　I　can't　stop　it　and　I　can't　slow　it　down。　I　can't　figure　out　what　it　
wants〃　His　weary　voice　broke　at　the　end。　

I　felt　the　same　way　I　had　yesterday；　when　I'd　seen　the　black　stains　across　her　stomach—furious；　and　a　
little　crazy。　

I　clenched　my　hands　into　fists　to　control　the　shaking。　I　hated　the　thing　that　was　hurting　her。　It　wasn't　
enough　for　the　monster　to　beat　her　from　the　inside　out。　No；　it　was　starving　her；　too。　Probably　just　looking　
for　something　to　sink　its　teeth　into—a　throat　to　suck　dry。　Since　it　wasn't　big　enough　to　kill　anyone　else　
yet；　it　settled　for　sucking　Bella's　life　from　her。　

I　could　tell　them　exactly　what　it　wanted：　death　and　blood；　blood　and　death。　

My　skin　was　all　hot　and　prickly。　I　breathed　slowly　in　and　out；　focusing　on　that　to　calm　myself。　

〃I　wish　I　could　get　a　better　idea　of　what　exactly　it　is；〃　Carlisle　murmured。　〃The　fetus　is　well　protected。　I　
haven't　been　able　to　produce　an　ultrasonic　image。　I　doubt　there　is　any　way　to　get　a　needle　through　the　
amniotic　sac；　but　Rosalie　won't　agree　to　let　me　try；　in　any　case。〃　

〃A　needle？〃　I　mumbled。　〃What　good　would　that　do？〃　

〃The　more　I　know　about　the　fetus；　the　better　I　can　estimate　what　it　will　be　capable　of。　What　I　wouldn't　
give　for　even　a　little　amniotic　fluid。　If　I　knew　even　the　chromosomal　count。。。〃　

〃You're　losing　me；　Doc。　Can　you　dumb　it　down？〃　

He　chuckled　once—even　his　laugh　sounded　exhausted。　〃Okay。　How　much　biology　have　you　taken？　Did　
you　study　chromosomal　pairs？〃　

〃Think　so。　We　have　twentythree；　right？〃