5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第25部分
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to enjoy watching her reaction。 But； if it was not if Tyler s invitation was the one she d been hoping for then I wanted to know that； too。 I measured Tyler Crowley as a rival； knowing it was wrong to do so。 He seemed
tediously average and unremarkable to me； but what did I know of Bella s preferences？ Maybe she liked average boys I winced at that thought。 I could never be an average boy。 How foolish it was to set myself up as a rival for her affections。 How could she ever care for someone who was； by any estimation； a monster？ She was too good for a monster。 I ought to have let her escape； but my inexcusable curiosity kept me from doing what was right。 Again。 But what if Tyler missed his chance now； only to contact her later when I would have no way of knowing the oute？ I pulled my Volvo out into the narrow lane； blocking her exit。 Emmett and the others were on their way； but he d described my strange behavior to them； and they were walking slowly； watching me； trying to decipher what I was doing。 I watched the girl in my rearview mirror。 She glowered toward the back of my car without meeting my gaze； looking as if she wished she were driving a tank rather than a rusted Chevy。 Tyler hurried to his car and got in line behind her； grateful for my inexplicable behavior。 He waved at her； trying to catch her attention； but she didn t notice。 He waited a moment； and then left his car； sauntering up to her passenger side window。 He tapped on the glass。 She jumped； and then stared at him in confusion。 After a second； she rolled the window down manually； seeming to have some trouble with it。 I m sorry； Tyler； she said； her voice irritated。 I m stuck behind Cullen。 She said my surname in a hard voice she was still angry with me。 Oh； I know； Tyler said； undeterred by her mood。 something while we re trapped here。 His grin was cocky。 I was gratified by the way she blanched at his obvious intent。 Will you ask me to the spring dance？ he asked； no thought of defeat in his head。 I m not going to be in town； Tyler； she told him； irritation still plain in her voice。 Yeah； Mike said that。 Then why ？ she stared to ask。 He shrugged。 I was hoping you were just letting him down easy。 Her eyes flashed； then cooled。 Sorry； Tyler； she said； not sounding sorry at all。 I really am going to be out of town。 He accepted that excuse； his selfassurance untouched。 have prom。 That s cool。 We still I just wanted to ask you
He strutted back to his car。 I was right to have waited for this。 The horrified expression on her face was priceless。 It told me what I should not so desperately need to know that she had no feelings for any of these human males who wished to court her。 Also； her expression was possibly the funniest thing I d ever seen。 My family arrived then； confused by the fact that I was； for a change； rocking with laughter rather than scowling murderously at everything in sight。 What s so funny？ Emmett wanted to know。 I just shook my head while I also shook with fresh laughter as Bella revved her noisy engine angrily。 She looked like she was wishing for a tank again。 Let s go！ Rosalie hissed impatiently。 Stop being an idiot。 If you can。 Her words didn t annoy me I was too entertained。 No one spoke to me on the way home。 thinking of Bella s face。 But I did as she asked。 I continued to chuckle every now and again； As I turned on to the drive speeding up now that there were no witnesses Alice ruined my mood。 So do I get to talk to Bella now？ she asked suddenly； without considering the words first； thus giving me no warning。 No； I snapped。 Not fair！ What am I waiting for？ I haven t decided anything； Alice。 Whatever； Edward。 In her head； Bella s two destinies were clear again。 What s the point in getting to know her？ I mumbled； suddenly morose。 just going to kill her？ Alice hesitated for a second。 You have a point； she admitted。 If I m I took the final hairpin turn at niy miles an hour； and then screeched to a stop an inch from the back garage wall。 Enjoy your run； Rosalie said smugly as I threw myself out of the car。 But I didn t go running today。 Instead； I went hunting。 The others were scheduled to hunt tomorrow； but I couldn t afford to be thirsty now。 I overdid it； drinking more than necessary； glutting myself again a small grouping of elk and one black bear I was lucky to stumble across this early in the year。 I was so full it was unfortable。 Why couldn t that be enough？ Why did her scent have to be so much stronger than anything else？
I had hunted in preparation for the next day； but； when I could hunt no more and the sun was still hours and hours from rising； I knew that the next day was not soon enough。 The jittery high swept through me again when I realized that I was going to go find the girl。 I argued with myself all the way back to Forks； but my less noble side won the argument； and I went ahead with my indefensible plan。 The monster was restless but wellfettered。 I knew I would keep a safe distance from her。 I only wanted to know where she was。 I just wanted to see her face。 It was past midnight； and Bella s house was dark and quiet。 Her truck was parked against the curb； her father s police cruiser in the driveway。 There were no conscious thoughts anywhere in the neighborhood。 I watched the house for a moment from the blackness of the forest that bordered it on the east。 The front door would probably be locked not a problem； except that I didn t want to leave a broken door as evidence behind me。 I decided to try the upstairs window first。 Not many people would bother installing a lock there。 I crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second。 Dangling from the eave above the window by one hand； I looked through the glass； and my breath stopped。 It was her room。 I could see her in the one small bed； her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted around her legs。 As I watched； she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her head。 She did not sleep soundly； at least not this night。 Did she sense the danger near her？ I was repulsed by myself as I watched her toss again。 How was I any better than some sick peeping tom？ I wasn t any better。 I was much； much worse。 I relaxed my fingertips； about to let myself drop。 long look at her face。 But first I allowed myself one It was not peaceful。 The little furrow was there between her eyebrows； the corners of her lips turned down。 Her lips trembled； and then parted。 Okay； Mom； she muttered。 Bella talked in her sleep。 Curiosity flared； overpowering selfdisgust。 The lure of those unprotected； unconsciously spoken thoughts was impossibly tempting。 I tried the window； and it was not locked； though it stuck due to long disuse。 I slid it slowly aside； cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame。 I would have to find some oil for next time Next time？ I shook my head； disgusted again。 I eased myself silently through the halfopened window。 Her room was small disorganized but not unclean。 There were books piled on the floor beside her bed； their spines facing away from me； and CDs scattered by her inexpensive CD player the one on top was just a clear jewel case。 Stacks of papers surrounded a puter that looked like it belonged in a museum dedicated to
obsolete technologies。 Shoes dotted the wooden floor。 I wanted very much to go read the titles of her books and CDs； but I d promised myself that I would keep my distance； instead； I went to sit the old rocking chair in the far corner of the room。 Had I really once thought her averagelooking？ I thought of that first day； and my disgust for the boys who were so immediately intrigued with her。 But when I remembered her face in their minds now； I could not understand why I had not found her beautiful immediately。 It seemed an obvious thing。 Right now with her dark hair tangled and wild around her pale face； wearing a threadbare tshirt full of holes with tatty sweatpants； her features relaxed in unconsciousness； her full lips slightly parted she took my breath away。 Or would have； I thought wryly； if I were breathing。 She did not speak。 Perhaps her dream had ended。 I stared at her face and tried to think of some way to make the future bearable。 Hurting her was not bearable。 again？ Did that mean my only choice was to try to leave The others
